Tag Archive for: forgiveness

(trigger warning) We’ve been here before, right on the precipice of the very end of times with such global volatility. People and children are dying as we speak. Only 12 days ago, Ukrainian citizens were at home, warm with their families and now many have had to flee and thousands of lives lost. With our nuclear capability and valid threats from dangerous world powers, at any moment, all life as we know it on this planet could cease, conceivably, even by 5pm tonight. We are indeed at 100 seconds to midnight. The Indian Vedas call this the Kali Yuga, the era of destruction and grave loss of life. It is the culmination of longstanding acts of human greed, unkindness, conflict, abuse of the vulnerable, hatred, division and living out of balance with the earth’s natural resources. We all know very well, that we have arrived in this dark time in human civilization, but what can we do?

SECRET TRANSMISSION FROM RETREAT

Since we may or may not have much time left, I’d like to reveal a secret or two. About three years ago I was working in state politics and even going to Washington D.C. and trying to be an activist as Trump had come into power, and many were living in constant fear and trauma. He was aligning with powerful, authoritarian dictators like Putin and North Korea, and this all seemed so dangerous. How can I take vows to be a help to our world and only escape into the opiation of my religion? I was disheartened that more of my friends didn’t get involved. I would go back and forth from meditation retreat to recharge and then back to the front line, hobnobbing with change-makers, activists and even some world leaders.

During that time, it was about a year before covid hit, I was here practicing in my meditation retreat house in southern Colorado. I was praying to the lineage of enlightened masters and Buddhas, our ancestral, collective wisdom. You could call it our collective unconscious, source, inner wisdom, insight, higher self, akashic, this body of wisdom has many names. Sometimes, I ask for advice, it’s not really praying to anyone theistically outside of me that exists like a god or spirits, it’s more of non-dual supplication to access inner wisdom and clear seeing. I was here for about a month meditating about 8 to 10 hours a day. We’re not really supposed to reveal anything happens on retreat but I will share this little snippet because it seems relevant.

I was asking the imagined lineage of enlightened masters (Guru Rinpoche) what I should do with my life to help our hurting world, and if I should continue to work as a political activist. I had applied to work for a progressive Senator in D.C., and had thoughts about running for office in Southern Colorado, etc. Then strangely enough, a whole entire piece of information came into my mind and I imagined that it was from this collective wisdom of the enlightened Buddhas. We had a conversation, if you will.

It was a bit foreboding, but I will share what they said- they said to me “Dawn we have something to tell you.” With a slight pause I listened to the information and more came. They said- in your lifetime you’re going to experience tremendous global upheaval and loss of life. They said- we want you to prepare now for these darker times. They said for me that I must stop being addicted to social media and wasting my life on “virtue signaling” and time wasting attention seeking, collecting endless “likes” on Facebook and Instagram and rather firmly CUT that addiction and recommit to my meditation practice.

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They said- “We want you to practice for a full two hours in the morning two hours in the evening, and that will give you about four hours of practice a day. They said- if you meditate and implement the powerful practices that we’ve imparted to you, you will develop an inner fortitude to be able to withstand these darker times. I asked is there anything I can do, I would offer my entire life to help our world, I’ll go to Washington D.C., I’ll put myself in front of world powers as a peacemaker; I’ll do anything, what can we all do to stop the momentum of this darkness?” Right now, we are now helping with what we can, e.g. I’m giving money to Save The Children, Doctors without Borders, we are writing letters to our reps and encouraging big companies and banks to sanction Russia. What else?

The “inner wisdom” as I recall, replied: “Unfortunately the dark forces have been gleaning power globally for a very long time now and there’s not a whole lot that people can do to completely stop the momentum of this karmic unfolding.” They advised, you as a private citizen can do some small things to lessen the harm, but in general, we just have to let most of it run its course. However, what ‘we’ can offer to you, if you do these meditation practices as we have suggested, you can get through this time without any fear.”

Right now, I have the safety and privilege to meditate, but even that could change, and quickly. No nation, no one is safe from being touched by this. It will not help for me to only read the news and internet feed all day, and panic, being overcome by hopelessness and fear. We can’t practice if debilitated and destabilized, nor can we take any social action. Now is the time to develop inner strength and fearlessness in the face of the darkest days. This is the ultimate protection.

THE HEROIC JOURNEY OF THE HEART

I often think of the quintessential heroic journey like Frodo from Lord of the Rings. He lived in such dark times, and his quest was to bravely retain his own goodness, heart, faith and inner light, even at the seeming end of times, even as he had to venture into the very molten front-lines of destruction. We truly don’t know how much time we have, ever. I have a good friend who used to live here in my mountain town, and just fell down with a seizure last week and is now on life support. He’s my age. Next week, another variant of Covid, may come into our population and restart the pandemic. If the global powers and Russian citizens and their military don’t put a stop to this bloodshed, midnight might be… tonite.

Stay strong, calm, clear, loving and grounded dear friends, now is the time to have accomplishment. Forgive yourself for all mistakes, all harm you did, all hearts you hurt, and completely forgive those that hurt you. I forgive everyone, including myself. The past two years were so hard for me and many of us: Trump, covid, such loss of life, economic challenges, constant fires even in my town and incessant natural disasters, an insurrection, my heart was utterly broken again and again by friends and family and sangha I loved and trusted. I lost the outer constuct of my religion because of dated theocracy, deluded spiritual codependency, and abuse to students and children. It’s been samsara on steroids. Welcome… we have indeed entered the Kaliyuga.

With that said, every moment is new, and in a instant, we can wipe all karma clear in our mind and heart, and be in the warmth of our love and human goodness. This is our nature, our birthright that can be cultivated and can never be taken from us, even with our last breath. The inner light always, always shines even in the darkest of times. Love to you all, always, no matter how many seconds we have left.

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A candle for Ukraine, a candle for us all. May we find our inner light in times of such darkness.

 


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